The Lasso of Truth

Weekend Pinup

It's been some time since I had the time to forage about on the world wide web, and gather the few worthy links with a side order of sultry flesh that has become the most popular staple in the Lasso repertoire.  Work and kids, and a few home renovations have kept me very busy.

First up...

» The Roaming Phallus of Italy goes whining on the wrong shoulder...  “We have presented a justice reform that is fundamental to us. In Italy we have almost a dictatorship of leftist judges.”  To which I can only imagine Obama thinking... "and your problem is???"

» Not wholly unrelated, Skippy ponders big jugs and justice.  Regular readers will know what that means.  For the newbies, fair warning now...Skippy is not for the faint of heart.  This is why I love him so ;)

» Blog pal BCF takes a poll of the many reasons we (Canada) do not have a conservative government.  I will add my own as - We do not have a conservative government as long as they keep courting violent revolutionary indians and their enablers (read ass-kissers).  I`m sure my pal Gerry could come up with a few of his own too.

» Atlas Shrugged in real life.  Who can ignore the correlation?

There’s Wesley Mouch, who in the face of failed government programs screams like Rep. Barney Frank (D) of Massachusetts for wider powers. There’s Eugene Lawson, “the banker with a heart,” who like former Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke is ever ready with a bailout. There’s Mr. Thompson, who like President Obama seeks to rally the country behind pious platitudes. There’s Orren Boyle, who like President Bush says that we must abandon free-market principles to save the free market.

Read the book if you haven't already.  Tex, yours is on it's way ;)

» Further to that, fellow Objectivists call now the Time to Kill The Robin Hood Myth.  And time for Capitalists to stop defending themselves against false premises...

The “reverse-Robin Hood” line suggests that Ryan’s plan robs from “the poor” and gives to “the rich.” But cutting entitlements is not robbery–and cutting taxes isn’t a gift.

» Lastly, an old - but newly relevant - example of the state encroaching on parental rights...

Education, like nutrition, should be recognized as the exclusive domain of a child's parents, within legal limits objectively defining child abuse and neglect. Parents who starve their children may properly be ordered to fulfill their parental obligations, on pain of losing legal custody. But the fact that some parents may serve better food than others does not permit government to seize control of nutrition, outlaw home-cooked meals, and order all children to report for daily force-feeding at government-licensed cafeterias.

 

5 Alarm Pinup!

While the cat's away, the mice will play and while I visited our nation's capitol on a business trip this past week, a Pinup War was launched.  I guess that will teach me to leave you kids alone ;)

But far from being a slouch, never let it be said I can't saddle up late and still bring home a few scalps!

My exam is done and I think I aced it, so I've been feeling a little saucy lately...

 
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Return of the Pinup!

Just look at this place!  A girl leaves you all to your own devices and all you do is trash the place!  From union thugs pushin` people around in the capitol of Wisconsin, to what's shaping up to be some kind of ugly in Libya and buildings crumbling in Christchurch, just look at the trouble you've got up to while I had my head in a textbook.  I've got an exam coming up and now I have to clean up this mess -- Sheesh!

No better time to indulge in something that is scientifically proven to make you healthier ;)

~ Speaking of boobs...Two of which get my vote for "most like to see beheaded by Haitian drug gang"

~ In another tropical destination...Where on Earth will the Obamas go for vacation #20 now?  And how do they feel about the Big Os old stomping ground being held hostage by his beloved fellow travellers, I wonder?  Must be quite a quandary...

~ And in hostility of another colour, a tv crew in Sweden meets the end result of permissive immigration paired with aggressive invading cave-cultures.  Funny how the words "no-go zone" are so often preceded by the word "Muslim" these days...

~ Meanwhile, in my own backyard, Julian "Caledonia" Fantino wonders why he's treated "like a common criminal" in his new political post.  Gee, I wonder too...?  It's almost as if people expect the former Toronto Police Chief and head of the OPP to be principled and upholding of the law, or something. GAWD!

Happy Valentine's!

I have been swamped with kid stuff and the impending (looming) deadline of my exam coming up. 

I did however manage to spare a little time this weekend, to try on and enjoy an early Valentine's present from my sweet and insatiable husband...

Valentine's Day at our house isn't usually much of a big deal --  other than using it as another excuse to do something sweet and affectionate for each other.  But Mikey complains that I never let him buy me anything, so it was nice to see him do so well on the rare occassion when I did ;)

Hopefully, all of you are enjoying your happy hearts day.  In a nod to the quirky relationship and sense of humour my husband and I share, I leave you all with a fitting Valentine's tale from George Jonas.

Enjoy.  XoXoX

Happy Holiday Pinup

It has been a very busy Christmas in the Lasso household.  With eight goody-filled stockings and a house full of sugared-up kiddies,   I should have asked Santa to leave an extra helping of my sanity under the tree for me!

~  The kids were all quite pleased with their gifts though, and I'm particularly pleased to claim rights to a Free-Range Kid awardfor the highly inappropriate and marginally dangerous gift given to my 11-year-old son this year.  Brought to my attention via Arnie - Merry Christmas to you and your lovely wife.  I'm nicknaming my son Ralphie, just for you guys. 

~ Courtesy of my good friend (and salacious stalker) Skippy, we get to hear what The Smiths would sound like, reggae-stylewhich, to my ear, doesn't sound all that different from the typical Smiths melancholy-saccharine.  Not nearly as curious as Paul Anka doing Nirvana.  Merry Christmas to you Skippy, and your lovely counterpart Wendy.  Now that she has pictures of my bare ass, I'd better be nice to her, lest they get plastered to the front of your Christmas cards next year ;)

From elsewhere...

~ It looks as though the health-food Nazis have issued their annual Tsk Awards to the few and the proud who still have the audacity to believe food should taste good...

"The doctors point to such artery cloggers as Ramsay's "British Pheasant Casserole," which contains two pheasants, smoked bacon, butter, and double cream (whipping cream)."

...which sounds almost sexy enough for me and Mikey to try at beddy-bye time tonight ;)

~ However, in some places it's always good policy to heed the warnings about eating the local produce.  Now why didn't Walt Disney think of this?

~ Time for a brief stroll through the realm of the existentially odd, first with a Werner Herzog-style rendition of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas", followed by a visit to the eerie ghost-cities fo China.  The video on China's World's Biggest Shopping Mall gives me that creepy post-apocalyptic, I-need-a-crossbow feeling.

~ Lastly, an educational peek into a largely misconceived (and harshly misjudged) profession.  The perfect companion to this previous lecture of mine.

 

Happy Halloween Pinup!

No time today for reading news or posting links.  But I promised a picture of the costume I made (I chose mermaid), and good to my word, here it is...

 

Not as racy as you all would have liked, I'm sure.  But it had to still be suitable for the office and they simple don't make sea shells big enough to make it more authentic ;)

Suck up/Catch up PINUP

I spent most of the last week in court and I’m exhausted – and not finished yet (argh).

At any rate, I woke up this morning and raised my head above the fog of question/answer and legal submissions, to realize that the important choice of leader of the Centre of the Universe^TM will be made today.

That should be interesting.  I wonder how many dead people will be voting for George Smitherman.

My friends to the south of me have a similar choice to make in a week or so and it is my hope that the sea change I sense in the wind will sweep every last scumbag out of their comfy seats.

Dare to dream, I know.  But things went remarkably well for me in court last week and look poised to improve significantly on my next round of dates, so I’m feeling rather optimistic.

This is the year of reckoning for scumbags.  Let’s hope the trend continues for the next 2 years.

Halloween Prep Pinup

I'm having a little trouble this year, deciding what to be for Halloween.  I have already been Wonder Woman, Xena and the Bride of Frankenstein and I try to make it a rule to never rehash old costumes.  That leaves me trying to figure out a new theme each year, and my tiny noggin is maxed out on decidedly non-Halloweenish stuff right now.

So, I thought I might put it out to you all, in hopes you can help me make a choice that will make a splash, but not get me fired at work ;)

Among the themes I am considering are:

*Mermaid

*Cheerleader

*Princess Leia (no Tex, not the slave-girl bikini.  I said I don't want to get fired)

*Little Bo-Peep

What do you say, folks?  If you help me decide, I promise there will be pictures ;)

Weekend Pinup: Excuses, Excuses Edition

There needs to be 4 of me.  Not just because it would make the world a better place, but because then maybe I'd get some stuff done and still have time to breathe!

I have a trial to plead next month, a conference to help my loving husband prepare for in November and another trial to help him plead in January.

We have also been managing the back-to-school schedules of our 6 active and demanding children, and I just started a course of my own, on top of my 2 jobs.

I'm buried in paperwork and exhausted.

My sweet husband has tried to do a fair job of keeping me posted on the latest happenings in the world outside of court pleadings, but he got laid out last week with a wicked flu that kept him from being normally engaged.

In short:  I don't know what the hell is going on out there, but you all seem to be making quite a mess of things without me ;)  Most notably, Christine O'Donnell has made quite a splash.  I've got a few things to say about that, as soon as I get time to write it.

I'm going to spend the rest of today catching up on the world around me, and I'll be back to regular posting shortly.

Holiday Monday Pinup

I have had three days with no work and no kids.  Three days to putter around the house.  Three days to lounge around and nap if I want to, and three days to get gussied up and let my sweet and indulgent husband take me out on the town and parade me around.

It's been refreshing.  And yes Tex, there are pictures, including one of what Mikey says is my best side...

~ Obama truly is the transformative President.  How pathetic is it when the guys on your side have to adopt the slogan "Don't blame me for Obama and Pelosi" just to save their own sorry hides?  How doubly pathetic is it that having the (D) after your name is so poisonous these days that it still may not even make a difference?

~ Don't ever say that teachers don't offer a valuable lesson for your kids to learn from: "A majority of New York City teachers who lost their positions at schools earlier this year have neither applied for another job in the system nor attended any recruitment fairs in recent months, according to data released by the Department of Education Thursday.

New York is the only city in the country where teachers are guaranteed pay for life even when their school closes and they are put out of a permanent job."

~ Meanwhile, in order to "solve social problems", Russians are being urged to smoke and drink more.  It's a final solution of sorts, I suppose.

~ Skippy has a perspective on political memoirs that is entertaining, as always: "It almost seems as if Liberals are born and raised to do only one thing with any skill: undermine one another." Don't forget snookums, they save some of that skill to undermine the voting public, too.

~ American Muslims are boosting security at mosques and keeping alert lest they become victims of violence in the run up to their September 11 celebrations.  Come on guys, it's not like we'll fly planes into them, or anything...

~ Meanwhile, on a tip from BCF, Muslims in our my own backyard are doing their part to justify that anti-Muslim backlash I've been rooting for.

Weekend Pinup

This last week was supposed to be my vacation but I got stuck working 11 hours each on Thursday and Friday anyway :(

In appreciation, my sweet husband graciously granted my request to drive 2^1/2 hours to the shores of Lake Erie for a day of lazily basking in the sun with my kiddies.

As a consequence, I am now nursing a wicked sunburn but I am also blessed with a relaxed glow.  Also as a consequence, my snap-happy hubby has designated me as the guest pinup this week...

~ Taking the prize for the most bitchily biased headline of the day, no surprise, The Toronto Star:  "Tea Party rally big on God, short on colour".  Aw, come on guys.  I bet there was plenty of Red, White & Blue.

~ My pal Skippy has much to say (and is undeniably right) about Alan Simpson.  Except maybe that Jessica Simpson bit...he may be wrong about that one.

~ Blazing Catfur decides to do what he does best:  Stir up the jihadi shit.  Such a snarky kitty ;)  You know you'll be the first beheaded when they take over.

~ And how did a continent founded by criminals get things so right on immigration?  Dare I hope for a political party like the Australian Labor Party, here in Canada?  It almost hurts just sayin' it.

~ In the count of the World's 20 biggest yachts, not shocking is the number belonging to Arabs.  Somewhat shocking though, is the number which used to belong to American aristocrats which are now owned by Arabs.  Writing on the wall perhaps?

~ Lastly, I've got a lot of fetishes...some of them kind of radical and a few slightly messy ;)  But I have to say, I don't know what kind of sick freak could possibly get their kit off on these.

 

 

Weekend Pinup

 

~ Stunning satelliet photos of the flooding in Pakistan.

~ Good news on the dead bad-guy front...Premature fireworks for Ramadan.

~ In an aging society, filled with eternal children, why are the elderly vanishing?

~ In Los Angeles, not the kind of "Lost Boys" you'd expect to be associated with James M. Barrie.

~ What if death began at birth and was a fate worse than death?  I'd be interested to see how my pro-life readers will interpret this one.

~ As the final antithesis to the pinup, a dating site for the ugly -- of which England has many.

Weekend Pinup

It's been a busy week catching up on some of the life I've missed the last several months, and making the game plan for the next few months leading into the next cage match.  My dear husband has been sweet and grateful, and well worth the hard work and heavy trials.  There really should be more like him.

~ Sadly, there is not, and Lemondrop joins me in lamenting 'The End of Men'.  Though clearly she is not familiar with my readership ;)

~ Of course, it could have something to do with the rise in narcissism today - particularly in women.  A 'me first' or 'me only' gal can suck the life out of a good man faster than a $10 whore, and with longer lasting consequences.

~ And speaking of $10 whores -- a tenuous segue, I know -- "... AIDS experts are frustrated at a refusal to adapt to new ways of looking at HIV and the people most at risk of contracting it."  But last time I checked, these same 'experts' refuse to allow any of us to identify or discuss who is most 'at risk', and why.

~ A visionary Metropolis as the engine of creative and scientific endeavor, through the imposition of material equality.  Where have we heard that before?  Even more odd, coming from a man who made millions off the proprietary rights to the fruits of his own vision...something he would deny others in his "City of the Future".  On a practical note, his design for the people's living quarters has a library, parlor and music room, but no kitchen...what if you like to cook...or eat?

Happy Sunday everyone!

Weekend Pinup

Tomorrow morning, Mikey and I travel to court in the hope that the family justice system's attitude toward fathers is improving.  I feel optimistic but wish us luck...we may still need it.

~ It's movie night in Cuba.  Will it be Night of the Living Dead or Weekend at Bernie's?

~ Moral relativism and the tricky business of making absolute statements in the absence of absolutes.

~ While Skippy gloriously rants against the moral relativism (and intellectual laziness) of lumping all the dastardly characters under the banner of Socialism.

~ And don't tell Mikey, but it appears as though oral sex can lead to oral Cancer...predominantly in men!  Don't worry baby.  I'll still love you after the surgery ;)  The neighbours may be glad for the break.

~ Finally, they've found out the beauty secret of the shallow skinny girl -- fat friends.  Me?  I had our kids as my wedding party, which may lead one to believe I was motivated by a height complex...

Weekend Pinup

Is that fog I saw this morning, or smoke rising from the O.P.P. car-b-ques in the streets of Toronto?  Police as Spectators in Body Armour.  It's been like that for some time now.  It's just now we have a global audience.

~ Start the day with some Sunday morning Steyn..."Plus ça change you can believe in, plus c'est la même chose."

~ Inspiring the Bianca-themed pinup today, Camille Paglia on lust...who's not feeling it and why, including a lament about the disappearance of the voluptuous woman.

~ And the ridiculous argument that creating a .xxx domain will somehow make viewing porn "more accessible", in the age of the internet.  Gee, I wonder how they're getting it now...

~ Speaking of "getting it", I hear a few salacious rumors about where some of us have been getting it, but I think Wendy is being too hard on him...He probably meant to say he makes big deals in China.  He is a Liberal, after all.  All those little kiddies to put to work, you know...

Weekend Pinup: The End of the Neglect Edition

My sweet husband has been scolding me lately, for neglecting my weekly pinup tradition.  I suppose me working 2 jobs, caring for our 6 children and tending to his many needs are not quite enough for him ;)

At any rate, he made a promise that I'd come through this weekend and I hate to make a liar out of him...

~ I'd like to start off by saying what a tragedy it would be if one of those errant missiles, so frequently launched blindly from Palestine into Israel, were to make it's way out to sea.  And when I say tragedy...well, you know what I mean.

~ Apparently, today's college students lack the empathy of their previous generation's counterparts.  Could it be that growing up watching welfare cheats and career poverty profiteers suck the life's blood of society's productive class has left them a little disenchanted with the whole concept of being their "brother's keeper"?  One can hope...

~ Meanwhile, some parts of the world still manage to gloss over the uglier realities of where socialist policy leads.  Or should I say paint over..?

~ And in further news from the sex-obsessed Muslim world, the chastity police are confiscating women's pants in Indonesia... Don't those fools know that scoping out the fleshy mounds on a lady's back and front are just part of our evolution?

Environmentally responsible pinup

Regular readers will no doubt recall last year's raucous celebration of "Make Like North Korea Day".  I think I'm still paying for the hydro bill ;)

We have similar plans for this year, but with the addition of a sure-to-break-every-bylaw bonfire in the backyard...many marshmallows will be roasted while every light in the house is ablaze!  Good times will be had by all and the children will learn a valuable lesson -- falling in with the herd only means you spend your day staring at asses.

For those who continue to insist that humans are the worst thing to happen to this flung rock, I have a few suggestions to repackage the event in a more honest and direct context, so as not to confuse the simple among you:

~ Haiti Hour:  Mother Nature stepping in to do the work the rest of us won't, reducing the collective human footprint in a way a windmill could only do with falcons.  True believers are encouraged to toss a concrete slab onto one of the kids, to make the experience more authentic.

~ Hugo Chavez Hour:  Not the latest daytime television slot for the fascist thug.  Rather, a celebration of the commitment that Venezuelans are making, to reducing their impact on the planet.  With any luck, Hugo's policies, food and power shortages and increased militarism will have the population dropping off like flies.  That's when the environmentalism really pays off!  Light a candle, starve the children and gag the wife (if she gets too critical).  This could be extended out for months and years, to maximize effect.

~ Cro-Magnon Hour:  Here is one Mikey and I have already tried...This is best done, outside.  Club the nearest babe and drag her by the hair onto the nearest rock pile for a long round of Wild Kingdom.  Be sure to make enough grunting noises to show the neighbours how environmentally aware you are.  Variation:  The Wild Kingdom portion could, of course, be substituted for a stern lecture on the evils of capitalism and non-renewable energy.  This tends to sound the same to the neighbours and has the added benefit of not producing any environmentally irresponsible children.

~ Semtex Vest Hour:  Looking to the self-detonating crackpots for an ethical solution to environmental terrorism.  This requires a full lobotomy or catastrophic head injury.  Left-wing veganism can be an adequate substitute.  Throw a bed sheet over the Mrs.  Beat her with a large stick, if necessary.  Send the kids to the mall with their "new coat" and a cellphone.  Fireworks included.

Never let it be said that we don't offer meaningful solutions here, at The Lasso.  Alternate suggestions are, as always, welcome in the comments.

Holiday Monday Pinup

Mikey's been begging me to post a fancy one of me, as my coupe de grace in this pinup war.  I told him that after the luscious Bianca, it would be kind of like putting the trash next to the limo.  But he assures me that Bianca is trashy enough to keep me good company...

I do however, have it on good authority that I am "one of the hottest wives ever".  Is that including Jenna Jameson?

You don't get away that easily!

While I slacked off yesterday, Jay was still taking shots across the bow, with a welder.  That's pretty cool, I have to admit.  BCF has been doing a good job of keeping score and Kathy is making it very tough to beat. 

I was all stoked to send out the nukes tomorrow, for Valentine's, but I can't let another day go by without bringing out a few of the big guns, to hold my own...

The whole PINUP collection (including a few of your's truly) can be found HERE.

    The whole PINUP collection (including a few of your's truly) can be found HERE.

It's time to smoke this thing!

Jay says "Not every pinup is nearly naked."  I completely agree...

 
Let's see who can top that  ;)

Missred opts for vintage fur.  Mikey likes it.

I brought a weapon to this war!

This is what happens when I don't read my email!  I was invited to the War of the Poses, and I almost missed it!  Giddyup!

Apparently Jay started it.  Then you just know that BCF called it on!  Kathy leapt in with a very nicepic, then the volley continued.

Monday Morning Pinup

Between working on work, and working on Girl Guide badges, I didn't get the chance to post my weekly cheesecake this weekend.  So, a day late, but not a dollar short...

~ The ever-tactful First Lady opens her own daughters up to world-wide humiliation by publicly declaring the little moppets, a wee bit chubby...to further Big Nanny's diets-for-all plan.  Thanks Mommy.

~ Meanwhile, Weight Watchers comes up with a diet plan that's sure to be effective!

~ For those who still insist on eating, Western Sydney has an appetizing plan for disposing of the trash.  Store it in the freezer!  No mention of how it is more environmentally responsible to spend the energy on refrigeration, than tossing it to the curb once a week...

~ But some scientists are going to the root of the problem, and thinking of creative ways to halt that whole growing food process, altogether..."They called for governments to establish a multimillion-pound fund for research into the simulated volcanoes and other solar-radiation management techniques for shielding the Earth against sunlight."  Because everybody knows that mass famine is the world's best diet.

~ And where the starvation plans fail, the environmental movement's flank is covered by the pro-choice movement who, oddly, don't care so much for choice, when a woman's choice is to keep the baby.

Weekend Pinup

This week has been a revolving door between work and bed, for my sweet hubby and me.  The week started out with a raging stomach flu that knocked us both flat, and has progressed to a general malaise and wracking cough with TB-ish intonations.  Today is work - again.  I think I'll spend the whole day tomorrow, snuggling up in bed with my fellow sick-heart ;)

~ The funny thing is, if the U.S. had a machine capable of creating a catastrophic earthquake, anywhere in the world, Haiti would seem a peculiar choice of target, wouldn't you think?  I mean, there's no oil there, no industry, no Muslims...

~ While Hugo is at it, perhaps he would like to fling the accusation that the U.S. is responsible for the cold snap that's killing the mentally infirm in Cuba.  Oops!  They beat him to it...

~ From the founder of a movement to "liberate women"..."The most merciful thing that a large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it."  Looking on at the consequences (unintended or otherwise) of progressive social engineering.

~ Examining why the middle class is the segment most discontent with government.  Boiled down: Too poor to be in on the pork shoveling and too rich to be at the trough.  But read it anyway.

~ Regarding the madness of King Charles and the question of what prompted the change of heart?  Don't discount the possibility that he was never with us in the first place and it was only knee-jerk anger at 9/11 that lead to his temporary alignment with the right...anger which, by his own admission, has faded over time.  Or, he could just be a megalomaniacal narcissist.  I'm of an open mind.

Weekend Pinup

~ Today's saucy little platforms are brought to you by the validation I feel upon hearing that I'm not the only woman who prefers high heels for just about everything - and it's not such a bad thing.  I may just put a pair on, for sleep tonight ;)  Thanks Paul.

~ And in the world where saucy will get you killed, apparently getting raped will also get you arrested - or at least, reporting it will.  It's important to note, I think, that this woman is not a citizen of Dubai, but the imposition of Sharia social law on her personal life choices, while vacationing there should be a warning to anyone who travels and regards Islamic rule as just a quaint little local custom. 

~ The fascists of Iran are busy spinning a revisionist weave around the internationally witnessed murder of Neda Soltan.  Your lyin' eyes, and such.  Because gawd knows, Iranian officials would never brutalize one of their own citizens.

~ Meanwhile, this is a rather overly-optimistic look at democratic trends in the rising wave of Islamic demographics.  The belief that "Islamic parties often find themselves liberalized by the electoral process." Doesn't take into account the fact that politicians lie to get elected and often hide their true intentions until they have gained power.  Islamic politicians are likely aware of this strategy and may, in fact, be using our naivety about the insidiousness of their system of rule, against us.

~ Speaking of blood-sucking social degradation...We saw Daybreakers last night, and LOVED IT. LOVED IT. LOVED IT.  It's really something, when the screeching, snarling, de-evolved bat-like creature elicits a feeling of pity, while it mindlessly savages everything within it's reach.  Worth seeing, if only to cleanse your mental palette of the "sparkly vampires" of recent film.

Happy Ho-Ho Pinup

Is everyone ready?  I've had my shopping done for weeks.  All of my coworkers are jealous, which might explain why I got this in my inbox...

~ Help Find A Cure: "Ginger Kids are people just like everyone else, even if they don’t have souls."  It's like grade school, all over again.

~ Rosanna von Sacken is dismayed that Rogers has changed the terms of her daughter's cellphone contract.  What she should be more concerned about, is why this poses a problem for her little snowflake... "Von Sacken's teenage girls generate thousands of texts every month, to and from their 10 unlimited numbers. Her 16-year-old daughter sent and received close to 6,000 texts in one month — that's 200 per day — to and from those numbers.  Von Sacken said the numbers illustrate just how difficult it is for parents to police text messaging by teenagers."  Not so difficult if you make them pay for their own usage...or confiscate the damned phone.  Jeezus.  No discipline.

~ Speaking of which...Rex Murphy takes the on the eco-sonorous horde of despots in Copenhagen.  A must read.

~ Nearly half of Canadians think immigrants should assimilate into their adopted country... "the poll found that while Canadians don’t believe there are too many immigrants and 70% have a favourable view of newcomers, many Canadians also believe immigrants should put their customs and traditions behind them."

~ While in some countries, immigrants adopt the local customs just a little too much. (Unbelievably, not an Onion story)

American Thanksgiving Pinup

After many years of being a faithful volunteer on various company social committees, I can certainly sympathize with the sentiments in the joke below.  It is truer than you know...

 Company Memo

  FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
  TO: All Employees
  RE: Gala Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd , starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty
______________________________________________________________

  Company Memo

  FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
  TO: All Employees
  DATE: October 2, 2009
  RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty
 _________________________________________________________________

  Company Memo

  FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
  TO: All Employees
  DATE: October 3, 2009
  RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
______________________________________________________________

  Company Memo

  FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
  To: All Employees
  DATE: October 4, 2009
  RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty
______________________________________________________________

   Company Memo

  FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
  TO: All F*%^ing Employees
  DATE: October 5, 2009
  RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ll!!!
 ______________________________________________________________

  Company Memo

  FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
  DATE: October 6, 2009
  RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23 rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Weekend Pinup

~ Michael Totten contemplates the ramifications of a third war in Lebanon.  Which is a prospect that holds a special resonance with Canadians, after the fiasco amidst the last one.

~ In a different kind of war, a fierce blow has been struck against the forces of propaganda.  There is no better disinfectant than the bright light of day and I expect this one to turn into a rugged scrubbing.

~ Meanwhile, in the Land of Oz... "The big winners in last week's EU carve-up may not have famous names or stellar CVs – but that's what made them ideal candidates for their new jobs".  And why not?  That's how Barack Obama got his.  Only in the world of global governance does lack of qualifications or experience make you well suited for the job.  Doesn't that explain the entire Security Council?  And the Human Rights Council?  (As an aside, is that not the most unfortunate picture you've ever seen?)

~ Palin = Prejean?  I'm starting to get the impression that local conservative mouthpiece, Michael Coren, hasn't ever met a successful conservative woman he hasn't wanted to stuff back into the kitchen, barefoot, pregnant and adequately Bible-thumped.  There is nothing useful or laudable about condescending misogyny - especially when it serves only to alienate the few figures in the conservative ranks who actually have something to offer, to revitalize the movement.

~ In contrast, Rex Murphy steps up like a real man, who isn't afraid to offer credit to a lady who's earned it... "Ms. Palin is a real and evolving element in the great story of American politics. She is the “other half” of the Obama moment, and she may be in the ascendant. Mr. Obama is losing his lustre, his appeal is dimming, at the very moment the Alaskan outsider is staking her claim. Those who call her a joke are expressing an anxious hope not offering a rational description."  RTWT

~Not that Sarah Palin needs anyone to defend her honour, when her uterus does a fine job of it, all by itself...

Other readers pounced like wolf-sized Dobermans on an intruder. One guffawed, “That sentence by Sarah Palin could be entered into the annual Bulwer-Lytton bad writing contest. It could have a chance at winning a (sic) honorable mention, at any rate.”

But soon, the original contributor confessed: “I probably should have mentioned thatthe sentence quoted above was not written by Sarah Palin. It’s taken from the first paragraph of ‘Dreams From My Father,’ written by Barack Obama.”

Oh, snap!

~ Peripherally on the subject of uterus' (or is it uteri?)...Thoughtful reader, Rolf, sent me the not-so-safe-for-work news of a rather unique anti-sexual harassment protest, in Russia.  Jeepers, Rolf!  It's not even Christmas yet, and I didn't get you anything ;)

Weekend Pinup

This week has been all about tyrants and stupidity...and I'm not just talking about work, now.  Though the same could be said there.

I mean the tyrants that you vote for (and some that you don't), along with the stupidity that you pay for...and the many who don't but bitch about it anyway.

It's been that kind of week...

~ Canada's prodigal son proves the apple doesn't fall far from the tree..."It's a particular thing to say one thing and then go on to do its opposite for 45 minutes. Yet such was the nature of Justin Trudeau’s speech yesterday afternoon at Concordia"  You mean something like mapping out a Charter of Rights and Freedoms while cozying up to murderous dictators in your spare time?  It would appear to be their family legacy.  Yet the Trudeau name still gets the deference of royalty in too many circles.

~ Meanwhile, the tyranny of the minority continues with the natives of Caledonia, while the police and the province are forced to account for why they colluded in the hostage-taking and intimidation of decent, taxpaying citizens, on their own property, by non-contributory tugs and criminals who get a pass.  Yet another glorious Canadian legacy.

~ South of the border, Psychology Today drops the turd that perhaps Nidal Hassan mowed down a crowd of his fellow soldiers out of a misguided need to belong.  While elsewhere on it's pages, this one slips past the PC editor... "while suicide missions are not always religiously motivated, when religion is involved, it is always Muslim. [..] As with everything else from this perspective, it may have a lot to do with sex, or, in this case, the absence of sex."  An interesting theory, and one that, if correct, holds some concerning implications for boy-heavy China, as well.

~ From tyranny to stupidity (though I believe that last one qualified under both), the overwhelming consensus seems to be that 2012is a healthy dose of it, with seconds!  Which is actually too bad because I have an insatiable fetish for over-the-top disaster films and was looking forward to enjoying this one while simultaneously mocking John Cusack in every scene.  Perhaps I could still do that but I think I'll wait to do it in the comfort of my own home, courtesy of Blockbuster.  And am I the only person who really liked Independence Day?

~ In the wake of this cinematic failure, io9 comes up with a pitchfor a sequel that is so vapidly puerile that I expect today's Hollywood to be rushing it to movie screens within nano-seconds...

This is what we're suggesting: While Danny Glover's President and Oliver Platt's chief of staff are hurredly making plans to survive the oncoming apocalypse that they've secretly discovered (as per 2012), a maverick government scientists played by Cage is studying the data captured the spaceship Alexei Leonov (in 2010) and comes up with a plan to contact the aliens behind the Monoliths to try and convince them to cool the Earth from the core temperature-induced collapse we've been promised. Part of this involves going public with that whole "end of the world" thing, which means that before too long, Cage and his family (including surly son Shia LeBeouf) are on the run, being chased by US government agents ordered to keep him quiet at all costs.

The only thing that leads me to doubt the likelihood of this being next year's big blockbuster, is the absence of stoic moral compassizer, Morgan Freeman.  Get him on board, and the story is complete!

R-Rated Holiday Monday Pinup

I've got shiny new rotors on my car and it only cost me a few stiff muscles and the price of a fancy new torque wrench.  Not a bad deal, I'd say.

Today I'm chilling out with my kids and my sweetie.  If you've got the day off, I suggest you do the same.  If not, I swear I'll be thinking of you ;)

~ Skippy has been keeping daily track of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and in response to his call for submissions, I offered up me and the girls.  I paid good money for these, so any excuse to put them out there really.  I'm not shy.

~ On a subject a little further south, David Thompson wades into the penile non-envy of militant lesbianism with the appropriate level of mockery.  I can only imagine the collective gasps of disbelief and revulsion should any of these "ladies" be exposed to the contents of my bedroom closet.  Clearly I would make a terrible lesbian.

~ While the lesbians are feeling more carnivorous, or at least himicidal, the murderous female spider now comes in vegetarian version.  Mother Nature is apparently all about balance.

~ And speaking of the "meat and two veg", you'd be surprised what you'll find on the shelf at your Christian Bookstore.  Maybe it's for the United Church.

Half-Assed Pinup

Because while I should be heading to London, sadly, I not only have to find the time to change the breaks on my car, but I also have to work.

Today, my milquetoast self has to live vicariously through the free speech crusade of others.

But I won't be taking a total pass.  Between phone calls, I plan to spend my time composing a nice letter to a few of the people on the BCF List of Who to Poke Into Action^(TM).  And if you're a regular here, and you value having the freedom to come here for caustic humor and slutty pinups, I encourage you to write one too.  Otherwise, my fleshy fulminations could be the next casualty of PC censure.

We wouldn't want that, now...would we?