The Lasso of Truth

Social Engineering

...through your warranty...

Apple is apparently telling at least some customers that the amount of cigarette smoke residue inside their computers makes it unsafe for the company to perform warranty service on them, despite the lack of such a clause in the company's warranty agreement.

One assumes though, that the trendy fascists at Apple have no objection to biscotti crumbs, shaking, and the adverse audio effects of progressive indy itunes files.

It's all about training your customer, Pavlovian-style.

For the family prone to spills

My daily trip here...led me to this enormously cool piece of merchandise.

And yes Mikey...we're getting one for the games room.

Like a Drill Sergeant at dawn

Mikey has apnea so sometimes when he manages to get into a good, deep sleep, he has a lot of trouble rousing himself from it.

So, it's rather tempting to suggest the introduction of this handy device...

Screaming Meanie

Idiot-proof wake-up alarm

... the Screaming Meanie is not a clock. It is a countdown timer. You set the number of hours and minutes between now and the time you want to wake up. You can also set the volume, either to "loud" or "frighteningly loud." In case 110 decibels is not enough ("loud enough to wake the dead!"), they have a 220 decibel version too!

When you start the Screaming Meanie the alarm is ON by default. This eliminates my habit of waking up five or six times just to check whether I set my travel alarm correctly. You just know this thing is going to work. You can't possibly sleep through it because while the 10 and 5-minute warnings can be turned off with one button, it takes 3 buttons pushed simultaneously to silence the final alarm.

Tempting.

But Mikey just went through extensive effort and expense to rid himself of his last Screaming Meanie, so it probably wouldn't be a popular suggestion ;)