The Lasso of Truth

Selective Indignation

From Garson Hunter...

A University of Regina professor who served with the Canadian Forces says a controversial scholarship program for the children of slain soldiers is a waste of money and could frustrate other students in need of funding help.

[..]

"Project Hero comes with no [government] money. It's provided solely by the U of R," said Hunter.

Hunter wonders how many other U of R students will miss out on scholarships because of the program.

I wonder how many U of R students miss out on scholarships because of social-engineering research projects...

Garson has received funding from the University of Regina President Fund-SSHRC to work on his new project "Harm Reduction Programs and Intravenous Drug use in Canada".

Were he a Conservative

...it would be considered thuggish rudeness.

But for a legacy Liberal, we call it "exuberance".

h/t

Environmentally responsible pinup

Regular readers will no doubt recall last year's raucous celebration of "Make Like North Korea Day".  I think I'm still paying for the hydro bill ;)

We have similar plans for this year, but with the addition of a sure-to-break-every-bylaw bonfire in the backyard...many marshmallows will be roasted while every light in the house is ablaze!  Good times will be had by all and the children will learn a valuable lesson -- falling in with the herd only means you spend your day staring at asses.

For those who continue to insist that humans are the worst thing to happen to this flung rock, I have a few suggestions to repackage the event in a more honest and direct context, so as not to confuse the simple among you:

~ Haiti Hour:  Mother Nature stepping in to do the work the rest of us won't, reducing the collective human footprint in a way a windmill could only do with falcons.  True believers are encouraged to toss a concrete slab onto one of the kids, to make the experience more authentic.

~ Hugo Chavez Hour:  Not the latest daytime television slot for the fascist thug.  Rather, a celebration of the commitment that Venezuelans are making, to reducing their impact on the planet.  With any luck, Hugo's policies, food and power shortages and increased militarism will have the population dropping off like flies.  That's when the environmentalism really pays off!  Light a candle, starve the children and gag the wife (if she gets too critical).  This could be extended out for months and years, to maximize effect.

~ Cro-Magnon Hour:  Here is one Mikey and I have already tried...This is best done, outside.  Club the nearest babe and drag her by the hair onto the nearest rock pile for a long round of Wild Kingdom.  Be sure to make enough grunting noises to show the neighbours how environmentally aware you are.  Variation:  The Wild Kingdom portion could, of course, be substituted for a stern lecture on the evils of capitalism and non-renewable energy.  This tends to sound the same to the neighbours and has the added benefit of not producing any environmentally irresponsible children.

~ Semtex Vest Hour:  Looking to the self-detonating crackpots for an ethical solution to environmental terrorism.  This requires a full lobotomy or catastrophic head injury.  Left-wing veganism can be an adequate substitute.  Throw a bed sheet over the Mrs.  Beat her with a large stick, if necessary.  Send the kids to the mall with their "new coat" and a cellphone.  Fireworks included.

Never let it be said that we don't offer meaningful solutions here, at The Lasso.  Alternate suggestions are, as always, welcome in the comments.

Hitler fancied himself an artist

Obama pretends to the Messiah role, and Qaddafi thinks he's the next H.G. Wells...

Of course, what most people really want to know about the Libyan leader is whether he’s a complete loon… and reading Escape to Hell does tend to confirm the widespread suspicion that Qaddafi isn’t playing with a full deck. His writing has a rambling, stream-of-consciousness flavor reminiscent of Chairman Mao’s less coherent essays, suggesting that dictators are often edited with a very light hand. Combine this with his excursions into surrealism and frequent recourse to the high-ironic stance, and it’s often difficult to make head or tail of his work.

Universal Health Care, The Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch

And other myths...

Politicians and top bureaucrats from provinces across the country have better access to cancer drugs and treatment than their constituents, according to Cancer Advocacy Coalition Canada.

It is unclear if that is the case in Ontario, because legislatures wouldn’t give out the information.

“We had exceptional assistance from across the country, with the exception of Ontario, who did not chose to report their MPP drug benefit program,” Chris Bonnett, an insurance and health care consultant for the coalition, said Wednesday during the release of the organization’s 2009-2010 Report Card on Cancer in Canada.

“There is a big gap between what legislatures enjoy and what citizens enjoy. They get access to drugs, cancer medication much quicker than their constituents. They also get access to drugs that are not part of the public drug program.

“This gap of what they enjoy as decision makers, policy makers ... the gap is dangerous. It gives them an unfair and unrealistic view. They think their coverage is similar to what every one else gets, but the reality is quite different.”

Sadly, now we can't even count on America to offer the choices we lack.

The business of swingin' panties around your ankles...

In light of my somewhat checkered past, I find it interesting to observe the biases and impressions of newer acquaintances, when the topic turns to strippers.  The ones who are not aware of my previous experience in the field tend to display an alarming level of snobbish ignorance on the subject, often fostered by the caricatured cliche offered in TV and movies...

The media image of the stripper is absurd. The girls at the Bada Bing in “The Sopranos” wouldn’t make a nickel in the clubs I’ve worked. Spinning around on a pole? Who tips for that? Better to attend a gymnastics meet. Or take the big scene in the movie “Strip Tease” where Demi Moore works the pole, and whips off her top. Whoopee. She’s a lovely woman, but that’s it? Here in the corn muffin state (really, it’s our official state muffin), customers demand to see more than that, and at much closer range.

Many of our customers are OWH’s (other women’s husbands), and our job is not to seduce them but rather to titillate them. We are not necessarily prettier or sexier than their wives. We are different from their wives. Sex is not allowed in a club, so we provide a variety of skilled, light, tantalizing foreplay. Many customers admit that afterward they rush home to their significant others. We work hard to keep families intact.

How a dancer pleases a customer, though, is up to her so long as it’s within the law. Previously, strippers were independent contractors. We took no salary from the clubs, got no benefits. In fact, we paid the clubs for the privilege of dancing on their stages. This takes the form of a “tip out,” commonly $10 to $50 in the clubs I work for, depending on the shift and the discretion of the management. After that, every tip we garner at the stage (usually singles) and every private dance fee ($20 for a four-minute song is standard in western Massachusetts) is ours to keep. Then there is the “champagne room.” Fees and conditions vary, but a typical CR fee is $200 for half an hour: $150 to the dancer and $50 to the club for the rental of the private room, typically furnished with a couch or two, wall-to-wall mirrors, and sometimes a pinhole surveillance camera to make sure nobody has too much fun.

Yet the ignorance and harsh judgment offered by the stiffs in my new soccer-mommish circle of people I deal with, can't hold a candle to the hubristic, sweeping stool-sniffers in government...

The legislature of Massachusetts, attorney general Martha Coakley, and some savvy lawyers have now put me out of business. It’s not that they don’t like what I do for a living — dancing naked on a stage and giving private dances in a back room. I can keep doing that. What they don’t like is that I did all this as an independent contractor. That I was my own boss. Massachusetts much prefers that I work for somebody else. This came about because of a single verdict against a strip club in Chelsea, Mass., and it affects not only every stripper in the state, but could result in putting many small independent contractors, from painters to writers, out of business.

h/t

More on the case for home-schooling

And why tuition is a waste of money...

Our universities can best be understood today as finishing schools in political correctness. From pre-kindergarten days, students have been brainwashed by the liberal consensus on all issues – political, moral, social. The university exists to round that off with a little learning. So the Ann Coulter saga is neither the first nor the last to expose the corrupt heart of the university.

What would The Colonel think?

Once he figured out what the hell "halal" is, of course...

A diner was left furious after a KFC restaurant refused to sell him a bacon burger - because it wasn’t halal.

Alan Phillips was told the restaurant was no longer selling his favourite ‘Big Daddy’ burger, which contains a chicken burger with bacon, cheese and salad, because it had decided to sell only halal food.

The Burton-on-Trent branch is one of the 86 out of 750 British KFC restaurants which is now selling nothing other than halal meat.
 
The company has taken the burger off the menu because Islamic dietary law forbids Muslims to eat anything which has been prepared on the same premises as pork, which is itself strictly forbidden.

Obamacare

Through a science fiction prism...

We've heard a lot of hype, on both sides, about the healthcare reform bill President Obama signed today. But how will it really affect our future? Here are five dystopias it may save us from, and one it could cause.

[..]

Could the new healthcare reform law eventually lead to the government taking over the healthcare industry completely? Sure, it's possible. A lot of people are not so secretly hoping that will happen. We could find ourselves living in 1984, or Brazil, or any of a number of other statist dystopias where the government controls everything.

Embarassing and disgraceful

...but not the least bit surprising.

I have a son who will be due for university in 2 years.  You can imagine how short the list of choices has become, when ridiculous fiascoes such as this, are the order fo the day at an institution of "higher learning".

The Morlocks are now, officially, in charge of learning in this country.

Looks to me like Francois Houle better watch out for an incitement charge.

BCF has more, including a picture of a spokesmodel(?) for Students united, who looks oddly familiar...

  

Just a matter of time..?

I read this book once, where the government passed sweeping regulations, to redistribute from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.

When the new laws came into place, many of the educated and hard-working started abandoning their places, or withdrawing their talents. 

In order to stem the bleed of talent, the government made more laws forbidding people from leaving their jobs, restricting their choices and movements, enslaving them, and all for the greater good.

Thank gawd it was only a book.

The New World Order

While I seriously doubt that any active politician in America has the stones to repeal the gigantic millstone which was just foisted around the necks of the American public, I'm also not wholly convinced by this piece of cynicism...

All this talk about backlash and Republican landslides is very premature. The Democrats just purchased 30,000,000 new votes. In November, the Democrat machine will drive through the low income neighborhoods in buses with loudspeakers warning people to get on board and vote against the evil Republicans promising to “steal” their “right” to free healthcare. And it just might work.

The flaw here is that it relies on that same 30,000,000 people -- the ones who couldn't be bothered to make any provisions for their own personal health care -- to get off their LaZboys and actually vote...assuming they can survive the queue at Emerg.

I won't hold my breath.

Behold the spectacle...

of vegans engaging in cannibalism.

I only play the boy, when the mood strikes...

I often agree with Margaret Wente but on women and blogs, she swivels between the opinion that women are either too timid to blog...

Women never held peeing contests. Perhaps that helps explain why women tend to be more restrained and less concerned with public displays of prowess. We are just as interested in listening as in talking, and more interested in relationships than scoring points. We also tend to lack the public confidence that comes so easily to many men.

or condescendingly above the exercise...

Opinionizing in public is a form of mental jousting, where the aim is to out-reason, out-argue or out-yell your opponent. Women are just as good at this as men and, in some ways, better. (No man could do it the way New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd does.) Women are simply not as interested in doing it.

...And it's an assessment that simply rings hollow to me.  Not the least of which because I am a woman blogger, as are a number of female friends of mine.  In fact, many of the most frequently-trafficked blogs out there are authored by women, at least two of which are right here in Canada.

Narrow attitudes like this make my feminist streak twitch a little.  I can't tell if she's trying to say I shouldn't blog or shouldn't want to, but in any case it seems as though to her, women bloggers are akin to slathering, Tourette's-like fratboys, with a risk fetish.  Rather than sober, professional edited journalists such as herself.

Guilt. Intimidation. Fear. Sanctimony...

Exactly what you would look for in a psychology publication...

So here’s my simple solution: Stop Having Children.

I call it the 5 Year Ban. For the next five years let’s not have any kids. All of us. The whole freaking planet.

And yeah, if you are having children right now you are being selfish. You’re stealing. Stealing from the future. Stealing from the rest of humanity. Stealing from every living thing on the earth right now.

The current planetary die off rate—meaning the rate at which species are going extinct—is a 1000 times greater than ever before in history. Why? Because humans—one species among millions—have stolen the food, the water, the space.

And every time we bring more life into this world we’re increasing that theft exponentially.

My steak was a vegetarian

Last night I had a beef dip sandwich for dinner.  It wasn't gourmet but it met the basic standards I require from all meals:  sloppy salty meat, drippy fatty cheese and some manner of bread.  The silly vegetables on top (fried onions) were tolerated only because they were adequately saturated in fat.

Lettuce is for rabbits and broccoli is best in a dish smothered in mayo, sour cream and cheddar cheese and served bubbling and hot, with tortilla chips.

Don't get me wrong,I do know how to eat properly.  I took nutrition in school, in preparation for a career in culinary arts.  I do buy veggies for the kids and I will even eat some in their presence (good example, and all) but if I had my way, all meals would come with the requisite starch and 2 meat servings...and salt.  That's it.

And nothing -- I mean nothing -- could sway me from a certain fatal heart attack, with the lure of Chickpea Cutlets, and such...

We try not to play favorites, but this is one of our babies and a recipe that we are sure will take over food blogs worldwide. A combination of chickpeas and vital wheat gluten formed into savory cutlets, it’s perfect for when you want something “meaty” buy don’t want to go to the trouble of making seitan. We serve these cutlets in myriad ways, packed into sandwiches or smothered in mustard sauce, with a side of mashed potatoes and roasted asparagus. It’s vegan food that you can eat with a steak knife and, best of all, it is fast and easy. You’ll probably want to double the recipe if you’re serving it to guests.

I assume these would be guests you don't like.

I find it rather ironic that the people who decry the consumption of flesh so vehemently, spend so much time and energy trying to make their vegan dishes mimic realmeat.  I speculate it has less to do with healthy choices than it does with a pretentious longing to be part of the newest cool, and a cowardly squeamishness about eating cows.

Pee Wee Herman could not be reached for comment

Apparently, even in Belgium, watching blue movies do not count as a "cultural activity"...

The Erotic Cinema in Ghent offers customers private cubicles in which to watch a selection of films.

Its owner claimed it should benefit from the reduced 6% rate of VAT paid by cinema owners, who get a discount under law to promote cultural activities.

Belgium's standard VAT rate is well above that at 21%.

But the Court ruled that what was on offer at the Erotic Cinema was not the type of cultural activity that qualified for the lower VAT rate.

It ruled that these had to be viewed collectively and be open to all, not something that is viewed in the privacy of a booth.

How much do you think they pay the poor schlep who cleans up this "booth" after the movie?  I bet they find a lot more than discarded popcorn buckets...

GASP! Aggressive sanctions?!

They're shaking in their boots, no doubt...

Obama, who had made the goal of pursuing dialogue with Iran a cornerstone of his administration's foreign policy at the beginning of his presidency, said he had been successful in getting the international community to isolate Tehran.

"As we've seen, the Iranian government has been more concerned about preventing their people from exercising their democratic and human rights than trying to solve this problem diplomatically," Obama said in an interview on Fox News Channel's Special Report with Bret Baier.

"That's why we're going to go after aggressive sanctions. We haven't taken any options off the table. We are going to keep on pushing," Obama said.

Keep on pushing...right off the cliff.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Mikey and I have a date with an old friend of mine tonight...Little did I know, I was expected to show up topless ;)

de-Arabised: Like delousing, but far more expensive

In my books, if you're ticking off both the missile-lobbing, Semtex crowd and the sympathetic Marxist squish taking their side, it's a fine day's work...

A defiant Mr Netanyahu appeared to be digging in despite clear indications that the Obama administration is now demanding the scrapping of plans for 1,600 new Jewish homes, whose announcement overshadowed last week's visit to Israel by the US Vice-President Joe Biden. Mr Netanyahu's stance appeared to guarantee, after a highly charged week, the protraction of a stand-off in which a full-scale diplomatic row blew up at the start of Mr Biden's visit and appeared to abate at the end of it. But it was then reignited by demands from Hillary Clinton and an angry White House that Israel make amends for the "insulting" announcement just as indirect negotiations with the Palestinians had finally been arranged.

Still awaiting word on when Obama will "run out of patience" with the kidnappings, suicide bombings and constant threats being waged from the other side of that border.

Lucky for you...

They defend your right to be a sanctimonious asshole...

'Personally, I'd rather recruit ex-drug dealers, convicts and even child molesters rather than consider anybody who has been in the pay of the British Government.'

 'Anybody who has been in the pay of such a military force, and by their silence and complicity has condoned such illegal and immoral actions while accepting a monthly bloodstained pay-packet , certainly won't be considered for employment by us.'

'The reality for the families of their victims is that there will never be any justice, and there never will be any closure, for the loss of a son, a husband, a child, or a family member who has fallen victim to British Military personnel who are going beyond 'just doing their job'.

'Please remove us from your email list. Regards, Karl.'

I imagine Karl can be contacted for feedback, here.

Not just violence

...but violence, with a pop-culture context...

 
They at least deserve credit for making this one slightly more subliminally clever.

Ill Communication indeed

Despite Bob's concerns for my sanity, it's nice to find that I am not alone in my appreciation for this particular form of campy cheese...

The release of “Ill Communication” was preceded by the single and video for “Sabotage,” an all-out screaming rock song. The video is legen- (waitforit) -dary, an instant classic that featured the Beasties and their DJ, Hurricane starring in spoof/homage of/to 70’s cop shows. Directed with style and wit by Spike Jonze, the video was the source of a little bit of controversy when it lost in every category to Aerosmith and R.E.M at the VMA’s.

And once more, for good measure...I really do love it...

Pace Hitchcock

"It was like a grisly scene from a horror film..."

On Sunday night, over a quiet Somerset house, scores of swooping starlings tumbled out of the sky and fell, dead, into a single front garden.

Covering an area 12ft across, more than 100 birds carpeted the garden, each with blood oozing from its beak and curled up claws.

Most had died, although some flapped lamely, clearly in pain until the RSPCA put them out of their misery.

A question of motivation

Among psychopaths and politicians, alike...

A Vanderbilt University study has new findings on how psychopaths weigh risk and reward. The study suggests that psychopaths may possess amped-up dopamine reward systems that compel them to pursue their goals regardless of personal cost.

And you thought they were just oblivious to the risks.

How many filthy jokes...

Can be made from a story about bananas, as a valuable tool in the war against HIV?

Punchline...media punching bag...

Or political punch to the face..?

Until now, I have doubted whether Palin was the one to carry these big ideas forward. Her performance has staggered between brilliant and disastrous. She gave a terrific acceptance speech at the Republican Convention and cringe-inducing interviews after. She did an awful job explaining her sudden departure from the governor’s position in Alaska.

Having now seen her in action, what I now see is that her conservatism is in her bones, people relate to her and most of the mainstream media will never get her.

She has radar for the aspirations of regular people, causing her to speak past many journalists and what she probably thinks are their dorky questions. Many in the media could spend hours listening to Barack Obama pontificate about Copenhagen or his outreach to the Muslim world. Palin couldn’t care less. She’s all about controlling spending, lower taxes, safe streets and borders and practical solutions for the environment, healthcare and education. That’s it.

Terrific timing.

Some people will buy anything

For example, Donald Trump pays good money for that haircut of his, The White Stripes still manage to sell albums and Shamwow Vince is still on TV.

But this one even beats the gal who bought a grilled cheese with the face of Jesus on it, off eBay...

At a recent online auction in New Zealand, two glass vials containing neon blue liquid sold for $1,983. Oh, and they also contained ghosts.

As we reported a few days ago, an anonymous person originally placed the two vials up for auction last week, claiming they contained the souls of an old man and a little girl, both of whom used to live in the sellers' current house.

Priorities: Canadian Senate Edition

Militant feminists do a disservice to those of us who are sensible, responsible women, by linking their obvious and vocal idiocy with their gender.  For example, a handful of bored lesbians get up in a lather over a reference to "thy sons" in the national anthem, and give the rest of the country the impression of women as frail and insecure in this big bad man's world...

"Language is the power of the ruling class to define reality in its own terms to make invisible all others!" Ruth, 68, a short woman with grey hair and a contagious cackle shouts to the rafters in the empty Senate chamber. "I haven't got the exact quote, but it's like that."

The paraphrased message was delivered by feminist Catholic theologian Rosemary Radford Ruether and Ruth says she took it to heart when she first came across it three decades ago.

That philosophy inspired her quest to render the Canadian national anthem more gender-neutral – an issue that she says has been kicking around for decades – and she suggested the idea to Harper before the holidays. She says he had asked his caucus for low-cost proposals and other bright, shiny objects that could be put on the agenda for the coming months.

Well, maybe Nancy can't handle the pressure of acknowledging that there is still a segment of the community which doesn't have to strap on it's manhood for use, but in the country where I live, there is still plenty of room to let the boys be people too.

My afternoon snack: NUTBAR

I'm sure it's intended as satire, but those of us firmly in the "To Hell with Earth Hour" category may find this campaign strangely apt...

 

Do these people know how nutty they sound?  Darth Vader casually vaporized an entire planet, as a pressure tactic!  So unless he lifts his hood and we find Al Gore under there -- which is not outside the realm of possibility, I admit -- I find it unlikely he'd be all huggy-huggy with the lambs and the pandas.  Heck, even Al isn't!