The Lasso of Truth

Three Little Swine-Flus

My son's girlfriend has been off school all week with the flu.  She's apparently been kissing little piggies.

My son spent the night throwing up and talking in his sleep.  He's been kissing her (I hope).

And Mikey has acquired that sexy raspy voice that can only be the work of a raging virus.  I am now wondering who he's been kissing.

I am surrounded by cranky bags of germs, and I am their nurse.

No doubt my office will be inviting me to keep my infectious disease at home today.

Muslims plotting murder of infidels: Must be Wednesday

In the tradition of retooling the English language to gloss over the inherent violence of a growing faction of fundamentalists, a plot to execute large scale carnage and murder on an office filled with journalists and possibly a synagogue, is now called a "newspaper plot". 

My, that sounds insidious.  And aren't we all relieved to hear the mastermind is an immigration consultant on both sides of the border?!

Comments disabled on an article about murderous Muslims.  I wonder why..?

Not in Kansas Anymore

I'm generally not in favor of handing out tax dollars to every needy hand that comes grubbing.  But if the government is going to mug you for your hard earned money and funnel it into a "disaster relief fund", you'd like to think you're going to get a little back when your house is leveled by a tornado...

More than 600 Vaughan homes were damaged; 38 were declared unsafe to live in. The estimate for public damage and recovery costs is about $730,000.

Vaughan has asked for about $400,000, most of that related to overtime pay for city workers, Jackson said.

A letter from Municipal Affairs Minister Jim Watson to the mayor's office explained that Vaughan didn't meet the criteria set out by the ministry's Ontario Disaster Relief Assistance Program.

Contrary to the suggestion that a tornado doesn't qualify as a disaster, it sounds more like the real deal breaker is the curse of affluence...

The program "is really intended for use in exceptional circumstances, where the event was of such magnitude that it is beyond the ability of the municipality to manage," said Adam Grachnik.

"Vaughan, as a municipality, we determined has it within their fiscal capacity to manage it."

I wonder how the Liberal-friendly, predominantly Italian community of Vaughan feels, now that they've discovered they are only considered citizens of this province when it's time to collect the taxes, but not when it's time to give some back.  I wonder if they'll remember this when it comes time to vote again.

And I wonder if Dalton McGuinty truly understands what it's like to stiff rich Italians, who have honed the science of grudge-holding to a fine art.

Kathy asks...

How many of these people are on welfare?

Easily answered when you consider the rally is being held at 2:30 on a Friday afternoon.  At the very least, they're not working.  Which is what most of us dirty kuffars will be doing instead.

Good thing they planned it for November, otherwise I'd be tempted to take the day off and show up in my bikini.

Eco-crank self-contradiction of the day

I'll panic when life jacket sales start rising...

"The last time carbon dioxide levels were apparently as high as they are today — and were sustained at those levels — global temperatures were 5 to 10 degrees Fahrenheit higher than they are today, the sea level was approximately 75 to 120 feet higher than today, there was no permanent sea ice cap in the Arctic and very little ice on Antarctica and Greenland," said the paper's lead author, Aradhna Tripati, a UCLA assistant professor in the department of Earth and space sciences and the department of atmospheric and oceanic sciences.

Same measurable level of carbon dioxide, yet we are still plagued with that pesky ice cap in the Arctic and Antarctic, and sea level remains stubbornly low. 

Odd that.

Almost as if carbon dioxide had nothing to do with it...

h/t LGF, who considers this to be the "gotcha" moment that will make all us denialist heretics see the light.

The tricky thing about democracy...

...you have to be 18 to vote...

Toronto Police and Toronto public school board security staff are expected at Northern Secondary School today for a student-led protest against cops in schools.

[..]

"We've been trying to raise the debate about police officers in school, about its usefulness," Sewell said.

He said he wants a "full- blown debate about whether police officers should be in schools."

We don't debate with children over what adults decide is best for them.  Especially when the debate is meant to be on behalf of idiots like this.

In a perfect world, every student in attendance at this protest would be arrested for truancy and failed in whatever course they skip to go.  Alas, Toronto is very far from a perfect world.

We are all gay now

From the same crowd that sends forth the hue and cry whenever a new Walmart location is proposed within the city limits, World Pride is all about the economic benefits to the city...

"the economic benefits of Pride Week on tourism in Toronto have been estimated as: $100 million in direct economic impact, 650 jobs supported and $18 million in government tax revenue."

I guess creating jobs and contributing to the economic welfare of the city is only desirable to Torontonians if you do it while sporting a strap-on and latex chaps.  Hmm...I sense a business opportunity.

Maybe I can apply for a $10 million grant.

The most Wonderful time of the year...

It's true. Another year has come and gone in the life of our gracious hostess, the one and only Wonder Woman.

It's been a year of challenges.  Nobody ever said that raising a blended family with six kids would be easy, and for all of the predictable social and financial reasons it's not.  Lawyers, fuel pumps and extensive brake repairs don't come cheap, and we've needed them all this year.

For all that, though, I will remember this forever as a year of joy.  This was the year that Wonder Woman married me!

There was sunshine and water and greenery and family and friends.  And most importantly, the two of us, deeply in love, expressing our joy in each other and our mutual commitment.

And there were bubbles!

Who could ask for more?

I hope that my Wonder Woman will remember the year just as fondly as I will.  I hope all of you will join me in wishing her a year ahead that is full of just as much joy.  And with a little luck, fewer challenges!

Happy Birthday Wonder Woman.  You are the very best, and I love you for it!

Pinupless Weekend

My generous co-workers wedding-gifted a weekend getaway for my sweetie and me, and this is it!

So while Mikey and I take in the spa and some sights, get out and enjoy what may be the last nice weekend of this year or stroll through The Justice League and visit some of my friends.

See you Monday!

The Rush to Smear

Via Instapundit, a swarm of cranks ruin a very professional and appropriate mea culpa with snarky equivocations and a whole host of "fake but accurate" nonsense in the comments.

In defense of the Twitter tart

Because you just knew I would.

If Megan McCain wants to plump her girls up to her chin and put a little "Is baby hungry?" look on her face, why do we care about this?

I mean, I know why her dad might care or maybe a boyfriend or little brother.  They would all have reasons to care, though not even really good ones.

But why do we?  And by "we", I really mean the stodgy, snipey stiff-wads who tsked and tutted and tossed around the word slut, because a pretty, single girl had the temerity to act a little saucy!

No wonder conservatives have a reputation for being stiff.  Jesus.  Grow up people.  There are plenty of other reasons to complain about having Megan McCain under the conservative banner.  But having -- and not being ashamed of -- an ample bosom is not one of them.

By that yardstick, I suppose I wouldn't make a very good conservative either, when what this movement could really use is a few more like me.

What could possibly go wrong?

I wonder if the "75% of medical specialists" who are in favor of being given legal sanction to perform euthanasia, are the same "medical specialists" who are responsible for the in-hospital body count from infections contracted because doctors don't wash their hands.

But let's trust these people with the final say on life or death. 

Who knew the NFL had moral standards?

I wonder if the moral preening race hustlers, who exercised so much energy to reject a rich Conservative's private investment, would be just as eager to reject his contribution to the tax base.

Or is it only ok to take money from the rich, when you do it by force?

Mommy Marxist Barbie

No doubt it comes with pump-action finger wagging tsk action.

Jean Valjean was just a thief

A little while ago a chain letter made the circuit around my office email.  It contained a coupon for a free loaf of bread from any participating retailer.  A brief Google search revealed the coupon to be a fake, which did not surprise me.  What did surprise and disgust me was how many of my colleagues intended to try to use it anyway, in the hopes they could pass it off.  The same folks who would never even consider walking into Walmart and slipping a loaf of bread under their jacket and walking out, were prepared to pass off a coupon they knew was fake, to get out of paying for that same loaf of bread…and didn’t think there was anything wrong with that!

I've had similar arguments over eating produce in the grocery aisle but I won't even get started down that road!

So when I read the tale of the latest lucky recipient of free money from Amazon, and his plea for advice on how to return it, I expected to find the comments section plumb full of blokes screaming “Are you nuts?!  Just keep it and hope they never figure it out!”  Imagine my surprise to find there are still some people out there who wouldn’t sell out for a free loaf of bread.  Even a $300 one.

And all I got was this stinking t-shirt

A comparative look at all things Obama...times two.

R-Rated Holiday Monday Pinup

I've got shiny new rotors on my car and it only cost me a few stiff muscles and the price of a fancy new torque wrench.  Not a bad deal, I'd say.

Today I'm chilling out with my kids and my sweetie.  If you've got the day off, I suggest you do the same.  If not, I swear I'll be thinking of you ;)

~ Skippy has been keeping daily track of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and in response to his call for submissions, I offered up me and the girls.  I paid good money for these, so any excuse to put them out there really.  I'm not shy.

~ On a subject a little further south, David Thompson wades into the penile non-envy of militant lesbianism with the appropriate level of mockery.  I can only imagine the collective gasps of disbelief and revulsion should any of these "ladies" be exposed to the contents of my bedroom closet.  Clearly I would make a terrible lesbian.

~ While the lesbians are feeling more carnivorous, or at least himicidal, the murderous female spider now comes in vegetarian version.  Mother Nature is apparently all about balance.

~ And speaking of the "meat and two veg", you'd be surprised what you'll find on the shelf at your Christian Bookstore.  Maybe it's for the United Church.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

I'm changing the rotors on my car and cooking a turkey today, so I've got a full plate.  Holiday Monday pinup tomorrow so stay tuned!

  Mikey only wishes he could dance this good ;)

Sometimes it's about making the right enemies

Just a hint of the disconnect between establishment Conservatism, and the plebeians they purport to represent...

Why is Rand, dead since 1982, so hot again today? Ironically, big government, one of Rand's betes noires, is stimulating her sales. Her more than 1,000-page 1957 novel, Atlas Shrugged, sold 25 percent more copies in the first half of this year than it sold in all of last year, shipping a total of 300,000 copies so far this year—tremendous success for a 52-year-old novel.

Readers and pundits alike look at America and see a world scarily reminiscent of Rand's government-choked dystopia in Atlas. It's a world with a struggling economy where political pull matters more than success in the free market, where the government blithely takes over huge transportation industries.

[..]

The standard authorities of the American intellectual and political right have mistrusted, avoided or even hated Rand. One of the most ferocious attacks on Atlas Shrugged came from National Review and the pen of conservative hero Whittaker Chambers, a communist-turned-Christian (two things Rand couldn't abide).

Many of Ayn Rand's most vociferous critics are so-called conservatives who advocate less for a free market of ideas than they do for collectivism of a different stripe -- namely, selective social engineering based on religiously dominated group-think.

But love her or hate her, can anyone deny that the Obamanated America of today looks glaringly similar to the fictional world abandoned by John Galt?

A blind eye to evil

Rare insight from a man who spent time on the inside of a very ugly world...

I sat through a discussion where men believed it permissible to have oral sex with an eighteen-month-old boy as long as the boy wasn’t physically harmed.

[..]

What struck me about NAMBLA was how many men I encountered were high functioning members of our society…doctors, lawyers, ministers, teachers.  Yet these men looked upon boys as sexual objects and had no desire to change their behavior.

No good deed makes this kind of behavior excusable.  No abundance of talent or wealth makes it acceptable and no societal contribution can accrue enough credit to pay back the damage of defiling a child for sexual gratification.

Shame on anyone who would allow or enable such a thing.

Mommie Dearest

It's such a typical story.  The narcissistic jerk follows his wandering prick to the greener pastures of a younger woman and saddles his beleaguered wife with a house full of children and a mittful of bills to pay while he lives out his midlife crisis.  We all do the pitying head-tilt, share a tear or two and trust in our heart of hearts that the family courts will eventually do something to even the score.

Thus explaining the sad popularity of The First Wive's Club and various similar hagiographies.

But what if the beleaguered wife is a wretched life-sucking harpy, with an entitlement complex, a control fetish and no shame?

Enter Kate Gosselin.  The latest personification of the spiteful divorce spectacle that has become a cornerstone in the family court system.

It's not to say that John Gosselin is a sympathetic figure by any measure, but any self-respecting soul (man or woman) can only be expected to take so much before packing it in and calling it quits.  And judging by the latest conduct of his estranged spouse, can he really be blamed for bailing out before the inevitable train wreck of his marriage hit?

Meanwhile, mommie dearest makes the round of talk shows to publicly humiliate herself and her children and tap into the stereotypical pity pool of jilted wife.  What is most sickening about this spectacle is how well it works for her, and every other manipulative bitch who pulls it.

A classic example of the tactic is the "bait and switch" with the kids in the middle, as described here...

When asked about Jon’s request to stop filming during the divorce, Kate claimed she ran it by the children and “there was eight times wailing and sobbing. They love the crew! They love all the events! They love the interaction! They got very angry about that thought.” As any reasonable parent knows, you do not ask the children whether they want the horrible thing. You set it up to trick them into believing that the right thing to do is what they actually want. And if that fails, you disappoint them.

And it's all daddy's fault.  And she's just trying to get by.  And for God's sake, won't somebody think of the children?!

But the only adult in this situation who seems to genuinely be thinking of the children, is the wandering prick with the new twinkie.  How can this be?

Well, maybe everything you've been told by the feminists, child psychologists, courts, lawyers and hollywood nimrods, about women being the underdogs in family law, is egregiously false.  From personal experience I can say I've seen some women pull -- and get away with -- spiteful stunts that would get their children's father arrested and his custody rights ripped away.  Some women could strangle their children in their beds and still get away with being cast as the victims of insensitive men.

Kate just gets to do it all with the cameras rolling.

Shame on her.  And shame on all of us for letting it get this bad.  Justice should be gender blind and sometimes the abusive, controlling psychopath is the weeping woman who uses her children as a commodity to be traded. 

It's a bad sign for the Big O...

When even TIME magazine begins to mock him...

TIME imagines in photo-illustrations what would happen if award academies around the world adopted the Nobel set of standards for winning

The joke is on us

I woke up this morning to the distinct feeling it was suddenly April.

It's not funny.  Not even in the way that home movies of hapless baseball dads getting beaned in the nads is funny.  But it hurts to watch, just as much.

Too bad Arafat's dead.  They could throw a party.

Save your tears for the ones left behind

Suicide is a coward’s way out.  It is a cruel, stiff middle finger to anyone and everyone who has ever loved you and an outlet for inflicting the maximum amount of damage, without the burden of facing consequences for it.

My strong feelings about suicide come from a full understanding of what it feels like to consider it as an option, as well as a complete awareness of the self-pitying martyr’s complex that motivates the choice. 

It is the last wickedly selfish act of a true coward.

Those who choose a public display for the spectacle of their death do so for the sake of spreading their misery, often to innocent bystanders, as well as to accomplish the public humiliation of their friends and family.  To mourn a man who laid his body down on subway tracks, is to give no thought or concern for the thousands of commuters affected by a shutdown of the entire line, or the poor souls charged with cleaning his remains off the tracks, or the next of kin who are forced to examine those remains to identify their loved one.  A man thinks only of himself when he does this, and in the wake of it, too many of us reward this selfishness by thinking only of him, too.

But how much worse is it when, in the act of taking his life this way, a man denies the opportunity for justice to those he may have victimized in life?  Guilty or not, he robbed every last one of us of the chance to know the truth.  Yet, despite that, he is mourned and hailed as a martyr, by those who now call him a victim of our viciousness.  No thought to the real victims, who may never have the chance to have their stories told and no thought to the rest of us who are left to further wonder about the potential predators in our midst.

He’s gone, and he still wins.

What I consider to be a classic case of projection

Again, I’m struck by the similarity between the techniques of global warming proponents and leftards; they both use cherry-picked data, they both make outrageous claims couched in pseudo-scientific language that sounds convincing to gullible people, they both compile lists of skeptical “scientists” that turn out to be packed with ringers, frauds, and people who never signed in the first place, and they both use quote mining.

I only changed 2 words in this quote, and the entire meaning has been altered.  Some would say to more closely reflect that elusive state called reality.

A tale of two pedophiles

And a glaring contrast between the worldly sophistication of the Europeans...

Residents remain fiercely loyal to him. “I pray that he comes back to Gstaad,” said Ruth Fielder, 62, who was born in the village and works in the corner shop just down the road from Polanski’s chalet. “He is a very nice man, he comes here every morning to get fresh bread and he is always smiling,” she said. “I was very upset when I heard he had been arrested. Here everybody says it is not right what they have done. After 30 years they have to stop.”

At the tourist information office, Kerstin Sonnekalb, the public relations manager, is just as perplexed. “He is a quiet man and very friendly and no one cares about his private life. He is a very nice guest here. Some people knew he had a history but no one cared about it.” Gstaad prides itself on being a discreet bolt-hole for A-list stars such as Liz Taylor and Roger Moore. Bernie Ecclestone has a home here, as does the legendary French crooner Johnny Hallyday. “No one cares about rich and famous people here, they can come without their bodyguards and behave as private persons,” said Ms Sonnekalb. “That is very special for celebrities.”

It is the kind of special treatment that has made the arrest of Roman Polanski such a shock for some Swiss and provoked a national debate about whether the country’s longstanding reputation as a haven for the wealthy is under threat.

 and the backwoods bigotry of us western philistines...

A Nova Scotia bishop facing child pornography charges is expected to arrive in Rogersville, N.B., on Friday.

Bishop Raymond Lahey, who resigned his post at the Roman Catholic Diocese of Antigonish on the weekend before news of the charges broke, plans to stay at the village's monastery.

But the disgraced 69-year-old cleric is an unwanted guest in the community, according to many residents.

"I wish he would go somewhere else," said Mayor Bertrand LeBlanc.

"This is a small community. We take care of our children and we want them to be in security. And this is a scenario you would not want for your children," he said.

LeBlanc said he has heard nothing but complaints from residents about Lahey's visit. It's an affront to the people of the predominantly Catholic community

I know which community I'd rather raise my kids in.

Half-Assed Pinup

Because while I should be heading to London, sadly, I not only have to find the time to change the breaks on my car, but I also have to work.

Today, my milquetoast self has to live vicariously through the free speech crusade of others.

But I won't be taking a total pass.  Between phone calls, I plan to spend my time composing a nice letter to a few of the people on the BCF List of Who to Poke Into Action^(TM).  And if you're a regular here, and you value having the freedom to come here for caustic humor and slutty pinups, I encourage you to write one too.  Otherwise, my fleshy fulminations could be the next casualty of PC censure.

We wouldn't want that, now...would we?

"Everyone wants to f— young girls!”

The misunderstood genius of Roman Polanski.  Class with a capital ASS.

Comments wisely closed on that one.