Special Edition Puritanical Pinup

Break out the turtlenecks (or the burqas, as you please) because the tut-tutting vanguards of vagina on the festering left of the Canadian blogosphere have their plus-size cotton knickers in a knot over the profound insult of having a former stripper -- a stripper!!! -- nominated in the Best Feminist Blog category of the Canadian Blog Awards.

Suffice to say the stripper in question is most assuredly me but the real question is not can a stripper qualify as a feminist, but rather -- since when did these people judge the quality of feminist credential by the principled absence of public nipple displays?  And what (if any) effect does this have on their collective imperious defense of the right for heroin-addicted sex trade workers to pimp their asses out in our public parks and alleyways without fear of prosecution?

A lowly ex-stripper like myself is left to wonder what quantifiable difference there is between a woman who takes her clothes off on stage in order to earn enough money to feed her son and break from dependence on an abusive spouse, and one who takes her clothes off on stage for a recitation of "The Vagina Monologues" in the cause of self-glorification and the furtherance of a feminist doctrine which increasingly distances itself from the concerns and issues of actual women?

I suspect the born-again puritans on the left would take far less exception to my role in the flesh trade if I had dutifully taken on the requisite shroud of victimhood expected of "exploited" women for credentialed entry into the hallowed halls of femininity.  Had I acquired a debilitating drug addiction, an unbreakable dependence on social programs and welfare, or perhaps simply left my son unsupervised and starving while I trolled the streets to barter out the next scab-encrusted blowjob, only then might my ass-tossing to the latest pop tune be forgiven with all due lordly condescension.

GAWD FORBID I should use the tools nature gave me, to improve my own circumstances!  Didn't I realize that is clearly the role of an endless line of victim's advocacy groups and bloated bureaucratic nanny programs?  After all, what meaningful contribution does it make to the worldwide feminist movement in general, when a single woman lifts herself out of dire circumstances through a solid adherance to the principles of personal responsibility, with perseverance and within the confines of the rule of law?  And how dare I not be thoroughly ashamed of this seedy episode?

Had I ended up face down in a ditch, beaten and diseased, with an emaciated crack baby festering in a filthy crib at home -- the next up-and-coming addition to Oprah's poor-me-biography book list -- I'd be a fucking hero to these idiots.

But I'm a Conservative self-starter who helped myself and didn't whine about it, and that makes me a pariah in the world of Professional Feminist Perma-Outrage (TM).  As additional insult, I also happen to be a woman who does not shy away from or deny my sexuality or the role of sexuality in other women.  I do not subscribe to the notion that my physical appeal is something I should hang my head in shame over and I dare anyone to make the mistake of underestimating my intellect based on the cup size of my bra and the pair of 4 inch heels I could do a 100 meter sprint in. 

In a single day, I could go from re-shingling the roof in the morning to debating the moral and political implications of safe injection sites over dinner, then to spreading out the rubber sheet for a 4-hour session of sloppy, smutty sex with the man whom I share 6 children with, and never once doubt that (barring physical impairments) every single woman out there is fully capable of accomplishing exactly the same feats of diverse ambidexterity -- and that not a single one of them should be ashamed or apologetic for it.

I have been disqualified in the running for Best Feminist Blog because I used to be a stripper "...where to begin?", as one of the elitists put it.  Well, I sincerely believe that what truly disqualifies me from this category has a lot more to do with my strict adherence to sanity, rationality and reason, as well as a more than passing familiarity with decency, personal responsibility, and let's face it, personal hygiene.

So ladies -- and emasculated gentlemen...bring your hairy armpits and your hypocritical, circular, cut-and-paste logic to any mental challenge of your choice, and me and my thigh-high boots, silicone c-cups, and slutty half-naked pinups will still kick the snot out of your flawed intellectual assumptions and moral mastication, every single time.

Because my highly sexualized flaunting does not impair or cripple me, but it apparently does a magnificent job of tying you all up in masochistic knots.

Sober second thought:  Comments from 2 of the left-leaning blogs linked above indicate that the reason for my disqualification was in fact not because I used to be a stripper but rather, because I'm not a very good feminist and don't devote enough time and verbiage to Wymun's interests as defined by true feminists.  Thanks for the clarification and in light of the new facts on the ground, please see sufficiently relevant response above and clarifying comment below.

Feminism is for weak women who need excuses and causes to give their lives meaning, or for women who are too cowardly, lazy or overburdened by the massive chips on their shoulders, to measure up in any meaningful way without insisting on a handicap advantage.

I am neither, and I don't need a sheild made of ovaries to protect me from the natural consequences of my actions or to entitle me to rewards and consideration which I have not earned.

Comments

[Mike W]

Sorry Bastards. Don't let them get you down.

[fern hill]

Hi, Wonder Woman. I linked to you; you linked back.

Actually, what I said was that there should be no automatic assumption that a stripper is NOT a feminist.

If people read those links up there, they'll find that all of us feminazi leftards were saying exactly that.

We were arguing with the supposedly 'neutral' judge, who, when it was later explained properly, removed your blog from the feminist category NOT because of your occupation but because you are clearly not a feminist.

But carry on bashing us. We'll carry on sticking up for people who get bashed.

[robins111]

That is too bad WW, but I guess you don't fit the sterotypical feminist.

First you have to cut your hair, preferably a flat top brush cut.

Let the hair on your legs & pit's grow until you can braid it.

Don't brush your teeth for a few days to get that mellow smell of decayed cheese for breath.

Them find the ugliest filthiest and most depressing clothing you can find. Dress up nice now.

Drive a 6 year old volvo or some other european 4 cylinder, which belches black oil smoke.

Respond to all comments with 'racist', call all men pigs, and believe that the world is a great conspiracy to make you cook.

Then and only then will you be considered for such an award.

Oh I forgot, some time in your life someone treated you poorly, you must also incessantly rant about the way you were treated by the pigs

[Wonder Woman]

Thank you Fern, but while you were "sticking up for people who get bashed" I was busy working, caring for my large horde of children and occassionally taking time out to extend outrage toward the latest stoning of a 14-year-old girl (one who quite literally was getting bashed), the constant and flagrant subjegation of women in a large contingent of Muslim states, or the gratuitous unjustified lambasting of a perfectly admirable vice-presidential candidate by the so-called feminist world, because she dared to be a woman along the same bent as myself -- unapologetic non-victim Conservative.

So while the women on the left preoccupy themselves with the latest funding cuts to the Status of Women entitlement program or the rights of aboriginal women to escape prosecution for leaving their newborn babies in WalMart toilets, or lobbying the justice system to strip away the family law rights of fathers in favor of vindictive, malicious women who use their children as pawns to punish the men who spurn them...the rest of us women are actually making valuable contributions to society and tangibly breaking through the barriers that society and "social advocates" place around any goalpost of accomplishment. And we're doing it without whining for extorted taxpayer dollars, and without having to fall back on excuses that involve the mythical and ambiguous "patriarchy" or the many more feminist phantoms that inhabit discussions surrounding the failure of certain women to realize their own potential.

So while your kind screams "keep your laws off my ovaries", I scream "keep your government programs off my children"...and my thought and speech while we're at it.

I speak out on REAL women's issues every single day. The right of women to exist in open society, vote and speak out. The right of women to assume and live up to the same expectations that men face every day and the right for them to fail and learn from their mistakes, as would be expected from anyone else.

The fact that you all think it is even appropriate to isolate a special category for "feminist" blogs, for special recognition and consideration, proves that "equality" and the concept of being taken seriously are not goals which you aspire to. The fact that any of you would extend the conversation into much hand-wringing over who qualifies and why, only amplifies the ridiculousness of the entire exercise.

I used to have a t-shirt that said "Anything boys can do, girls can do better" -- when I was 8. I grew out of it by the age of 10 and haven't seen hide nor hair of it since. Thus with the sentiment and the mental impairment that goes part and parcel with it's assumptions.

Grow up and toss off that tattered and obnoxious t-shirt, in the realization that the label of feminist is not (and never has been) a badge of honour. It is nothing better than a public declaration of your desire for unwarranted dominance in a world where you lack the ability to live up to the same standards you expect from others.

[robins111]

Dat be a slam-dunk for WW.

Fern you are out of your league

[jedi master rob]

Wonder Woman NOT a Feminist? Fern, you just don't get it. Not surprising. So few of you do. WW is a true Feminist. She knows a penis is not evil nor is a vagina superior or visa versa.

As for this stripper nonsense. . if she would have been a man in dire straights with a child to consider, you would have considered her "resourceful" but that wasn't the case. It's a shameful double standard. A double standard that you and your finger-pointing, Jane Fonda worshipping ilk solidify everyday. You are just as guilty as the typical patrons in your friendly neighborhood strip club. Good job. Take a bow.

[fern hill]

Thank you for the warm welcome. ;)

If you read WW's links you'll see that no disrespect or moralizing was offered towards WW.

Out of curiosity, WW, do you call yourself a feminist?

[balbulican]

I'm wondering why you thought my post had anything to do with the questioning of a stripper's (former, current, future, or in training)right to call herself a feminist. If you read it a bit more carefully, you'll note that I'm laughing at the notion of a self-proclaimed "expert" who excluded your nomination for that reason.

I'm sure there's plenty of stuff at Stageleft for you to get legitimately steamed at, but do me the courtesy of reacting to what I actually say, not to what your own jerking knee tells you a leftist MUST think.

[Texas Canuck]

I was going to make a comment about this silly definition thing but when I got to the rubber sheets and 4 hours I sort of lost my train of thought. Lucky Mikey;-)

I come over to read Wonder Woman because she is articulate, edgy and a person (who happens to be a woman) who has had tough times, battled back and had succeeded in life. Kind of like Kate over at SDA, no "root" causes, just tell it like it is. The fact that both these ladies are easy on the eyes is a bonus.

Contrary to the leftoid blogosphere, there are a lot of "real" women out there who manage to live life, raise a family, have a career and do just about anything else without the help of NOW, SOW, NDP or any other organization that sucks on the government teat while pretending to look after the oppressed of femdom.

Keep it up WW, I'm a life long fan now. Luv the pinups btw.

[jean]

True " feminism " should be about the freedom to do whatever one has the skill and ambition to do without any artificial limitations based on what gender one happens to be, it is not a long list of P.C. causes that one has to believe in and support.

Feminism doesn't have to be of the Left, the Right or anything in between it's shouldn't be about specifics but about an attitude of as a " Human " my rights are the same whatever my sex, gender or sexual orientation. ( Try living that in Saudi Arabia and live to talk about it ! ).

The P.C. stuff is on the wrong track when it's end up limiting freedom instead of fighting for it: The intolerance of selective pseudo tolerance that passes for being " Progressive " !

[Bob Devine]

Great post WW. Those lefty wanna-be`s won`t live long enough to be the woman or feminist you are and the reason they treat you as they do is because they are scared shitless at the thought of a country full of women like you finally getting PO`ed enough to tell that the next bus stop is here and they should use it. Keep up the good work. By the way you look kinda foxy in that pic.

[balbulican]

As one of "those lefties" accused by Wonder Woman of disparaging stripper/feminists, may I respectfully suggest to the readership that you actually read the link she provides? You will note that I say the precise opposite - of course a stripper can be a frickin' feminist, as can a welder, a hunter, a cop, a brain surgeon, a Vice Presidential Candidate, or a conservative.

[Wonder Woman]

Thank you balbulican. But I'm not trying to be condescending when I say that you are a little bit missing the point...

No one can be a feminist because the term itself is a vast contradiction. Feminism is purportedly about "equality" but the very fact of segregating a group out based on gender is by definition, not equal. Having a "femininst blog" category in the blog awards when there is not a matching "male chauvenist blog" category, is the antithesis to equal.

I appreciate that you think it's silly to disqualify based on profession but I think the real argument should be about why they have this silly, outdated contest at all?

Best Female...Best Male...sure, why not? But best feminist!? Even the lot of you who are arguably all coming from the same pool of thought, can't decide on what that term even means.

[balbulican]

With respect, I wasn't "missing the point", WW: I was correcting your misinterpretation of my post.

I understand your point: I don't agree with it. Terms like "Christian", "socialist", "feminist" and "fascist" are all pretty big baskets, and incorporate the usual human measure of vagueness and internal contradiction; but they're not meaningless. We can have undergrad fun playing with words to demonstrate their irrelevance - does the institution called "capitalism" actually exist when our taxes are needed to bail out corporations? - but they express at their core an idea.

Most of the social indicators I'm aware suggest that women are still economically disadvantaged in Canada. As a guy who spends an hour in the gym most days, I can tell you that casual contempt for women is still a huge part of our culture. There are edges of both the Muslim and Christian faiths that don't feel women should have have the same choices men do. Do I actually need to tell you that stuff?

My name for the folks who think those aspects of our society need to be worked on is "feminist". Use another word if you want to, it's not the word that I care about.

[El Jefe Maximo]

I think your comment at 0550 today was spot on, WW. The whole concept of disparate "victim" groups seeking to claim equality by asserting a right to different (that is, special) treatment is devoid of logic and itself an indicator of how far off the track our political and moral culture has gotten.

As for the pinup...excuse me, while I make the appointment to get that pacemaker.

[pete in Midland]

Like I told you before, Mikey, you're a lucky guy! I'll take feminine over feminist any day of the week!
WW ... I think you have the pulse of the bytches in the wymens corner dead on ... they just hate anyone or anything who might lift the white sheet of their victimhood to show the emptiness underneath.

[mikey]

Pete et al, I know EXACTLY how lucky I am.

Wonder Woman is the most downright frighteningly capable, self-reliant person I've ever known. She's tough as nails, and would sooner spit in their eye than accept 'help' from SOW or NOW.

On top of that, she exudes a joy in being a woman... and sexuality is inherent in that. What's the fun in being men and women if we're going to pretend to all be the same?

So I have a tough, capable, sexy and FUN woman through life with. Lucky indeed!

[Trodwell]

THERE she is.

Ave, mulieris mirabilis. Don't ever change.

[Wonder Woman]

Egads! I need a breath mint...and does my hair look ok?!

It's not every day a girl gets a visit from her long-lost former stalking victim ;)