Some of my readers may think that I write these insipid, heretical posts of mine in a vacuum, without influence from saner (and more informed) sources around me. Not so. I am continually in contact with a wide array of fascinating and insightful sources of feedback. Some take the form of reasoned argument with certain points I make. Some have proffered grudging respect for my opinion, but hearty disagreement with many of my premises. Some choose the route of thinly-veiled threats. But for a rare few, the avenue by which they express their appreciation for my efforts is one of profanity-laced insults and random, poorly phrased stupidity (with a little racist elitism thrown in for spice).
Which brings me to Frank who saw fit to grace me with this little ditty in my Inbox…
When I see your website, I tell me :
"Luckily, here in Québec ,we have the Bloc Québécois !" (and PQ though)
And I really think english Canad-Ass is good for bin. If today, we have problems with immigration (Arabs, Jews, Chintoks ..) it is because of your fucking federal government. Now it's too late, your laxness allowed to these barbarians to take our lands, to break our SPECEFIC culture and they are killing our own values. Thank you very much ! Hoping our noble nation will be separated soon and after you'd think about these fatal errors you did with your central gov.
Bonne journée,
Frank
Now, far be it for me to criticize, but I find it necessary to point out a few of the discrepancies in Frank’s train of logic.
It is obvious that Frank is enamored with the francophone way of life and has little love for what he sees as the influx of barbarians (Arabs, Jews, Chintoks) who have bombarded his sensitive French culture. But I hasten to add that if he (rightly) places blame for this problem on the shoulders of the Federal Government, he may do well to remember that the most liberal and permissive immigration policies were not ushered in by any central government that I voted for or advocate on behalf of. In fact, the worst offenders in this regard, were parliaments headed by French prime ministers from Quebec.
Clearly not a Liberal lover either though, he embraces the stalwart stewardship of the separatist Bloc Quebecois and expresses his enthusiasm by belching out a rip off of their official 2006 election slogan “Heureusement, ici, c'est le Bloc!” (Thankfully, here, it's the Bloc!), but doesn’t care to explain what measures his beloved big-labor bitches have done to ensure Quebec’s legacy as an illustrious haven of culture and values. One would think that cracking down on café owners who use larger-than-permitted font on their English menus, and kicking up a righteous fuss over an imaginary insult from a hockey player, would be more than enough to secure and perpetuate the formidable French spirit…but I’m just speculating.
So here’s a tip for Frank…if your culture is so valuable and glorious, you wouldn’t need the regulatory machinations of an English tax-payer funded bureaucracy to protect it from the onslaught of cultural cretinisation you so eloquently lament. Much lauded francophone traditions of cry-babyism and pussification bear sole responsibility for the dilution of French influence both in their own province and throughout the rest of Canada -- no help from the feds required. Nobody likes a whiner or a bully, and the separatists of Quebec are a startling and disturbing combination of both those deplorable qualities and as is evidenced through the incoherent blubbering of supporters such as you, their bloviating noxiousness breeds ignorance.
I am tempted to also point out the glaring errors in grammar and punctuation in Frank’s note – and nothing would please me more than to explore what the hell “good for bin” actually means – but in all fairness, Frank’s skills at English translation are probably far superior to my skills at French translation. In light of this, I will make an attempt to communicate with Frank in a language he will understand and appreciate. Because we both have the same goal in one respect…see, I am a separatist too. Nothing would please me more than to see the glorious “nation” of Quebec break off our left shoulder and go floating into the sea of sovereignty. In fact, I would be pleased to deploy the jackhammer with my own two hands and in Frank’s honor, I would chip them off with a smile on my face and a sign on my back that said “embrassez mon âne!”
